If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
