Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize