I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
