In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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