That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize