Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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