Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
