I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
