i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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