even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
