Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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