haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
