Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
