So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize