She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He has the fingertips of a God
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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