sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
