Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
