8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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