OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
