Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
