That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
