I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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