a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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