um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
