I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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