The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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