The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
