He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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