Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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