hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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