We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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