so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
