I have demons in me.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
