hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
