she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
