some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
