That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Green mimosas i think yes
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
