yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I stole a fireplace last night.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Randomize
