is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
