Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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