I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
