At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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