4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Non-Jews are for practice
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
