Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize