You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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