i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
