that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
