Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
