i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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