The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
