I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
