I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
