When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
