and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
