I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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