Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
