Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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