I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
How external is "for external use only"?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
