Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
if only i could text you this smell
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
