I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
