at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
