it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
