Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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