are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
