What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
