Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
