Your mouth is God's brothel.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
