She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
