Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
