He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
