Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
